it is not...........

It is not that i miss you. 

It is not that it makes me sad. 

It is not that i do not hate you. 

It is not that my pride is in command. 

It is not that i feel sorry for myself, 

it is not that i am down again. 

It is not that it seems 

that all this work was not worth  

all the tears and lonely nights 

i have buried deep inside this hole. 

It is not that i recall you 

dressed in your red dress. 

It is not that i recall you 

early in the morning 

lying on my summer bed.  

It is not i am not aware 

of my addiction to you. 

It is not i´ve been so cold 

that i cannot say a word 

about how i am suffering 

this tempting, 

shinning gold. 

It is not that i´ve seen 

the look in your eyes 

that said to be true 

what was just a lie. 

It is not that i seem 

to be able to touch 

what has turned into 

something out of reach. 

It is not that i am scared 

of never going back. 

It is that it seems to me 

you do not care at all. 

It is that it seems to me 

you are so far 

that i will never get 

to understand what 

crossed your mind inside. 

It is that i was wrong 

and you were right. 

It is that i lost myself 

while you found my scars. 

It is that i´ve been so close 

i´ve burned my mind 

trying to get to you 

and trying in return 

to make you love me too.  

It is that i am sorry, 

i am frightened, 

i am lost. 

It is that i am discouraged 

just by seeing you again. 

It is that i am far from where 

i am supposed to be lying. 

It is that i am dissapointed 

just by watching us die. 

delusion

grasping the air,

waiting in vain.

declaring bankrupt

on my heart inside.

consumption arises

to those who tried

to live in pain

against themselves

or another times. 

the stars above

have nothing to say

instead of asking

lets try to forget

how we got here, 

how we ended dead.

i came here not for regrets,

i wondered why you

were never there

when i screamed 

as loud as i could

just for some respect.

partying made me

take memories away.

drugs took myself

to my own paradise

where my thoughts and strives

were no longer in control

of my just learnt wisdom.

into the land of forever

i drove my crazyness

so fast i just could

hit and run.

disregarded and betrayed,

inusually discouraged,

hurt on pourpose,

left alone to die alive.

now i am on possesion

of you tricks and lies.

let make them mine,

i´ll use them wisely.

now i see the result

of my delusions

into my very sad of you,

too late to start anew.

un verde casual

llegó un tarde de abril

de la mano de la primavera

junto con una promesa

fuxia, roja y violeta.

un acomodo provisional,

una luz parcial,

una presencia más

que no pude acallar. 

nos ignoramos

mutuamente

durante días

hasta que, 

a fuerza de mirarnos

a hurtadillas,

llego la curiosidad.

no se por qué o cómo, 

no se por qué o cuándo, 

empezamos a querernos

a fuerza de la rutina

de yo paso y tu miras,

o tu distraida y yo

entre las cortinas.

pero de alguna forma

nos unimos por azar

su tristeza era la mía, 

mi alegría era su savia;

mis lagrimas la regaban

y en su tierra yerma

mis raices crecían.

y, de pronto, asi sin más,

ella se me hizo a medida

y yo me dejé conquistar.

se metio dentro de mí

y empezo a espiar. 

saco sus conclusiones

y no me dio opción,

ninguna, de protestar.

y cuando quise darme cuenta

ella era mi termómetro, 

ella era mi altar.

mi tristeza la marchitaba,

mi euforia la hacia intentar

salirse de su habitat natural

y buscar nuevas tierras

que poder conquistar.

y ahora, ahí está, 

mirandome confiada, 

sabiendo que la tormenta 

acaba de pasar, 

se erige con valentía 

luchando con la gravedad

de alguien que sabe

lo que va a pasar. 

ella no habla, 

no dice nada,

pero sabe de mí

más que cualquiera

sin preguntar.

mi pequeña hierbabuena

como te voy a cortar

para hacer mojitos

si tu vida y la mía

de la mano van......

how can i

feeling free
if he tells me what he knows
i´d like to know
where´s the hidden place
i´ve heard about.
not so far from here
i could make it by the evening
hoping to give sunshined lands
to those unforgivers
who had lost their view.
clean from dust and pain
the path to this word
becomes longer and longer
as if it was growing
deep into an unknown world.
tell me all that you know,
show me what you have to show.
hit me with the truth
living by the trees.
can you understand
that when the day is gone
nothing between us
will be the same.
do not hesitate to ask
as if i´d be gone tomorrow
what are my thoughts heading to
an where are you in my head.
behind me you will only find
all the truths and lies
i´ve been told long ago.
how can i
even try to find
if searching is a mistake.
who can tell
what lies under the carpet
or which dreams are waiting
making the princess of the sky
drop crystal tears
on the whispering wind.