it is not...........

It is not that i miss you. 

It is not that it makes me sad. 

It is not that i do not hate you. 

It is not that my pride is in command. 

It is not that i feel sorry for myself, 

it is not that i am down again. 

It is not that it seems 

that all this work was not worth  

all the tears and lonely nights 

i have buried deep inside this hole. 

It is not that i recall you 

dressed in your red dress. 

It is not that i recall you 

early in the morning 

lying on my summer bed.  

It is not i am not aware 

of my addiction to you. 

It is not i´ve been so cold 

that i cannot say a word 

about how i am suffering 

this tempting, 

shinning gold. 

It is not that i´ve seen 

the look in your eyes 

that said to be true 

what was just a lie. 

It is not that i seem 

to be able to touch 

what has turned into 

something out of reach. 

It is not that i am scared 

of never going back. 

It is that it seems to me 

you do not care at all. 

It is that it seems to me 

you are so far 

that i will never get 

to understand what 

crossed your mind inside. 

It is that i was wrong 

and you were right. 

It is that i lost myself 

while you found my scars. 

It is that i´ve been so close 

i´ve burned my mind 

trying to get to you 

and trying in return 

to make you love me too.  

It is that i am sorry, 

i am frightened, 

i am lost. 

It is that i am discouraged 

just by seeing you again. 

It is that i am far from where 

i am supposed to be lying. 

It is that i am dissapointed 

just by watching us die.